Acne Diary: My Acne Story

I'll never forget when I was around 11 years old, at a friends house when her older teenage sister told me she was sure that I'd get acne on my forehead. I was the first kid in my grade to get braces, and I was bullied every day because of it. So, I thought she was crazy and just looking for a new way to insult me. The last thing I wanted was to be the girl with braces, light pink glasses, a head of frizzy curly hair and acne.

I didn't worry about it until a year later, in the sixth grade, when red bumps started to appear all over my forehead.

The red bumps quickly became an issue for me, killing my self confidence even more. Even though my braces came off (and everyone who bullied me for them got braces on) I still felt like there was a target on my back. It seemed like I always had something for kids to pick on.

My mom quickly came to my rescue, buying me a foaming cleanser from Clean and Clear, in a cute purple bottle. I'll never forget that cleanser. It made my skin drier than the Sahara desert on the hottest summer day.

Again, my mom came to my rescue, this time buying me a moisturizer with salicylic acid in it from Clean and Clear. It was a white bottle with a purple cap, another product I'll never forget.

Every morning and night, I'd wash my face and slather on the moisturizer while praying for some kind of miracle.

But things only got worse.

By the time I was in the eighth grade, the acne had spread to my cheeks. My whole face was covered in pustules.

It wasn't long before I had tried everything at the drugstore and ventured out to Proactive. I had even tried countless home remedies (lemon juice, honey, olive oil, cinnamon - you name it, I've probably tried it). Nothing seemed to help.

Eventually, I went to see a dermatologist, who prescribed more creams and antibiotics that didn't work. My dermatologist told us the only solution left was accutane.

I went home with a piece of paper listing the extensive side effects of accutane. My Dad urged me to take it, inviting over his friends and family members who had been on accutane to chat with me about it. So, I did it.

For a whole year I took accutane pills every day. I got blood work taken out every month. My mom took time off work to take me out of school and drive an hour away to see our dermatologist once a month.

I think around the 2 or 3 month mark I started to see results. I wasn't waking up with new breakouts anymore. Things were looking up for me.

After accutane, my skin was left with tons of ice-pick scars and post inflammatory erythema. I would still get the odd pimple here or there, but it was nothing like before.

But that's not where this story ends.

In fact, this story doesn't really have an end. I'm now 21 and I still deal with acne on a daily basis. Sometimes, my skin will be clear and sometimes it gets really bad.

Currently, I'm obsessed with skincare. I've stopped searching for miracle products. I just focus on keeping my skin healthy and hydrated. Skincare is self care to me. It's therapeutic to me - and that's why I started this blog.

I like to think that one day I'll get to a point where pimples are rare, and my skin is even toned and glowy.

For now, I'm learning to accept my skin as it is and feel beautiful. It's a long journey, but I'm proud of how far I've come and I know that one day, it'll all be worth it (and I'll have gorgeous skin! *crosses fingers and toes*).

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders after writing this.

xoxo,

T.